Tuesday, June 1, 2010

The Friendly Man Has Friends

Proverbs 18:24; 17:17

This was a principle that was drilled into me from as far back as I can remember. My parents told me this frequently, though I did not know where it was at in the Bible. The phrase, “the friendly man has friends” is not used word-for-word in the scriptures, but the concept is prevalent in this verse. To have friends one must be friendly; and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

Jesus said that the greatest love is one that will lay down its life for its friend (John 15:13), while the writer of Proverbs said, “A friend loveth at all times” (Proverbs 17:17). There is no love like the love of a true friend, and those friendships are often forged through fire. Out of great adversity, great relationships are born (Proverbs 17:17).

All of these principles are wonderful, and are Biblically sound, but there is little life to them without the finished work of Jesus Christ. Remember, it is Christ’s finished work that changes all things and brings all to life. To find Jesus in this passage, we must look a bit closer at the original Hebrew, which is the language of the Old Testament.

“A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24). The first usage of “friends” in this verse is better translated from Hebrew as “acquaintances”, while the last usage of friends in the verse should be translated “lover”. The writer is saying that in order to have friendly acquaintances, one must be friendly to others. This is the type of affection that is given to someone who is kind to you, and they in turn, are kind back. Jesus spoke of this type of friendship as being common to the world (Matthew 5:46).

To change the second usage of “friend” to “lover” is to change the equation entirely. Now we are no longer talking about friendly relationships, but we have advanced to speaking about an intimate relationship that is stronger than the ties of blood and family. To “fall in love” is to sell out so completely to love that you actually are bound closer to that individual than you are to those members of your own family. Jesus sanctioned marriage with this kind of love in Mark 10 and sealed all marriages with that type of love and sacrifice.

Jesus loves His church with more than a familiar love, or a brotherly love. He considers Himself the “lover” which will always stick closer than a brother. I have had many people in the church to call me “brother” in one breath and then cut me with their next breath. Christ speaks love and affection to His church and you need never fear that in His next conversation with you He is going to turn on you with abuse and judgment. While a brother can be persuaded to turn on you, your heavenly lover never will.

I counsel some people who complain that they are lonely and can find no friends. It is difficult for me to be consoling in many cases because more often than not, they are difficult to get along with! They are quiet and reserved, so people think that they are angry or wish to be left alone. Sometimes they are judgmental and distant, wanting everyone to fall into their way of thinking, and oftentimes they have little sense of humor and are rarely caught smiling. If you find yourself longing for friends just remember that a friendly person has friends. Spread the love of Jesus that rings so true in your heart to someone around you and your circle of relationships can’t help but grow. Other people want to know that they are love also, so speak of His great love today.

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